Greetings Growers,
San Francisco weather has landed on the east coast. Warm days, cool nights. I’m geeked to be able to don my high school basketball hoodie around the apartment. It’s funny how much we are wooed into the excitement of leaf peeping season even though we know misery is a stone’s throw away.
Life is poetic. I hope you travel your week in good spirits.
Delayed arrivals, still arrive.
My work is about solving problems. The more work I do, the more I see a common thread:
I help people get unstuck.
That doesn’t make me immune from being stuck myself. For instance, I get jealous when I see a brand marketer on TikTok with a great take on the state of brands and culture. I get that why-didn’t-I-think-of-that feeling.
Eugene posted a video with a caption reading, “Our culture is stuck in place.” He references another video titled Hauntology, Lost Future and 80s Nostalgia by Jonas Čeika. I love the quote Eugene pulled:
The correlate of a future that won’t arrive is a past that won’t disappear.
This quote makes the case for why nostalgia is so prevalent in our branding, consumer products and media. Listening to this hot take sparked an emotion — I felt unsettled.
It’s the quote above that struck me. It made me reflect on how I’ve grown over the years. For instance, shedding my defensiveness has take a great effort. It’s a battle I’m winning but still fight tirelessly to this day.
For the longest time, I barely made it past the acknowledgement phase. I could see and feel its presence. I was called out on it. I’d repeat the cycle of defense followed by an apology and then repeat it over and over.
I was hopeful the future would change. I preferred to passively feel more secure or grow out of it. A healthy dose of wishful thinking.
Expectedly, the future never arrived. The past, in the form of creating frustration and despair in any romantic partnership, never disappeared. I was stuck.
Another example…
I like writing. I like creating things.
I want people to enjoy what I write. I do this for me, but I care about how people engage with the work. Which means, I’d like to get better at storytelling.
As a kid, I filled up tons of notebooks. Rap songs, poetry, prose. And now, I’ve returned to writing in the form of social content, and newsletters.
I recently started writing a personal essay. I’m scared to complete it.
Growers is therapy to me. I spill out vulnerability for my sake. If it helps you, then icing on the cake.
The essay I’m writing is to entertain. The goal is to write a piece of my story in a way that can engage. It’s my attempt at trying to write for something more than myself. Scary stuff.
How will I make it great? How will I not get stuck in the past? How can I make sure the future arrives?
Fortunately, the how is clear. Seek advice and critique. Make revisions. Make progress. The hard part is committing to forward action.
There’s something I’m noticing about the future not arriving for brands, and movies for that matter. We have built a system that wants to guarantee returns (money) and limit risk taking.
It’s why we bring back old movies like Beetlejuice. It’s why there are a thousand Fast and Furious movies. We want to repeat what’s been proven; what feels safe.
I can see that pattern in myself. what’s worked for me is only writing for myself so that I can pretend other people’s opinions don’t matter. It’s a tough pill to swallow.
Waking up and realizing that how much or how little progress you’ve made is yours to own—sheesh.
But it’s true. I could have carved out an hour a week to write or get feedback. I could have taken a class or found a tutor. I didn’t. That’s on me.
The TikTok creator said that we look to nostalgia to find what’s missing today. I agree. I’d add: it’s the reason nostalgia is so warm and fuzzy. It’s a way of incorporating fantasy into our daily lives, whether it’s a dope graphic tee or a binge-worthy Netflix show.
My partner takes me to see art. It’s a practice I appreciate but will rarely initiate myself. Each time we walk through a gallery or museum, I say the same thing each time—I think I’m going to start drawing. Some variation on the theme.
My new goal is to be aware of when I’m stuck. Be mindful of when I want something but I’m not exerting any energy to obtain it. My birthday is around the corner. It’s a subtle reminder that there’s a lot to do. And, I’ll never have more energy to do those things than today.
Xo
Did you enjoy this newsletter?
These newsletters take hours to make and I’m doing it to build community and connect with you. Let’s not make this a one-way conversation. Get involved! Ask a question, share a life lesson, tell me what resonated with you.